One of the most greatest paradoxes, I think, for the budding metaphysician has to do with the question of pain and suffering -- is there a purpose for it such that it might even have been pre-designed into our evolutionary process - by a *benevolent* God or Higer Power, etc? It's bound to be one of the most difficult paradoxes to give a useful explaination for - especially to people of western religious systems. And just because I think I can try a shot at this (this is about victims, right?) doesn't mean that always helps me - as quickly as I'd like - when I get caught-up in my own stuff. (Yes, it happens, so what am I doing writing this? Well, after you read this you may have an idea, or at least something useful to form and answer your own questions.)

Hence, I have tried to develop a compassionate perspective that considers the person who is NOW feeling pain. I have to admit that I was motivated to write on this subject first after being given what I most strongly felt was not a compassionate response regarding the pain I was feeling at the time - by someone who's advice I valued, at least until that point in time. Well, I still value it, but mainly because it helped me formulate my own perspectives.

More recently I was given an opportunity to address the question in an internet mailing list. I employ this Q&A below to introduce the rest of my perspective (and it provides a much more compassionate approach than the one that originally motivated me):

** Question from Internet Mailing list regarding victimization: **

"Some people believe that you create your own reality but that others do not create theirs-especially little babies who have all kinds of things happen to them or children who are abused. It is a difficult concept for many people to grasp that seemingly helpless children or starving people also create their own reality. When ever you buy into the victim mentality, you send people the idea that they are powerless and you make that probability one for yourselves...." "Those who are involved in dramas in which it looks like someone is a victim are usually so out of touch with their feelings that they do not connect how they feel with what they are thinking. Victims find victims. Victors find victors. So, please,"...if "it looks as if people are hopeless victims, honor them and honor yourself by saluting that they created their own reality. ... Sometimes the greatest enlightment lies in the greatest catastrophies and the greatest difficulties." I welcome comments from anyone, especially you thoughtful and smart ones (Doesn't that include everyone?). -- L..

My Response/Perspective:

At first glance, a "metaphysics 101" principle says, in effect, that we create all of our experienc(s), therefore there are no victims. Watch out for the trap in this one. Without knowing that there is much more to this dynamic (of responsibility, claim, credit and blame, victor and victim), one can either deny the existence and/or needs of the inner-child (to have feelings considered and completed) or can deny the truths/reality of the principle itself.

Why would the Higher Self have a victimizing event occur "to" its Material Self?

The answers to that often asked question (in metaphysical circles) gets us into philosophy very quickly. From the standpoint of our living only one life, one could say that the soul chooses to make a sacrifice for the sake of other's increased understanding, compassion, generosity, etc. towards the "redemption" of all concerned. Personally, I believe God would have to be alot more cruel than I believe is likely for S/He to allow that to happen. Certainly not without alot more consideration as to the opportunities for other learning experiences by the soul who would make such as "sacrifice."

From the perspective of reincarnation, there are more possible scenarios. One is that similar to the above "sacrifice" intention, but with more opportunity (with more lives) to balance out any inequities left over in that same life. Another and different scenario is that of a Karmic-debt "owed" by the victim, which just means that the soul's only way (due to stubborness of it's personality self, etc) to learn (compassion and) not to victimize others (as it's personality has done to others in a previous live(s)) is to experience the victimization himself. There are other possible explanations or factors which I'll bring into this later.

According to one psychology perspective, victimization can also be a coping mechanism to avoid even more feared events/circumstances. To the degree that it becomes a habit, consciously wanted or not -- and it rarely is consciously wanted -- the personality develops coping mechanisms. (More on "the role of victim" later) Here is where the metaphysical explanation enters in. Coping Mechanisms become and/or beget other skills. These skills are not always used for the best purposes, and yet they can develop capabilities that can be kept after the habits and mechanisms are mechanically dropped. (Related reference: "The Body Pattern Assessment/Reading and Understanding the Pattern Triad")

I am now referring to resources, perceptions, skills, and pathways that have been painstakingly and ever so creatively cut out through uncharted territories of the mind and soul and upon which can be further developed and used consciously and effectively to move, transport or communicate resources needed by others as well as self.

But as is so often the case, "the gifts" here are earned by doing the role of victim - And surviving - then becoming the warrior of one's own forest. Only the soul could choose such a route - not the personality - but together they can choose to make it "worth it." But no one has a right to say that another should do this, - let alone be a premeditated co-creator in victimization - that is emotional Abuse in the form of spiritual counsel in the worst case. That's like telling someone with a hook in their gut that they should pull it out - while the standing and watching the gory event. I say he who pulls his guts out gets the credit. The exception to this - I gather from my studies, anyway - is when a true master attends that one, who with the master's assistance, chooses to play the warrior role. But the master is only serving to reflect the warrior's soul and empower the personality.

Let's suppose that there is a universe where everything is done for purpose, and each purpose is part of a larger purpose, and this is part of a plan for (psycho-social/spiritual) evolution of souls. (dreamy, eh?) Now, why would people incarnate into that world, knowing from a soul level that they would be emotionally and/or sexually abused by their parents? Many body-workers and psychologists are very aware that there is a strong correlation between infant abuse, out-of-body experience, and a fear of being "in the body" that manefests much more frequently, and/or in various situations, than would be considered optimal for psychological health. And yet, these are the individuals -- in many cases -- that have brought us so much of our current understanding of spiritual principles. And/or they are incredibly capable at transferring ("sublimating") the energy of their sexual desire, anger, and grief into creative processes in art, science, and diplomacy. This is all highly purposeful activity that the world values immensely. A related practical reference and tool might be "Questions for Boundaries -- Effective Communications of position, intention, & message, Maintaining Clarity for appropriate Connection, Direction, & Protection"

Consider the following practical, although over-simplified, scenario. A soul who, not yet incarnated in a physical body, chooses to learn about compassion. He chooses parents who (not being conscious of their own souls' intent) co-create with the soul, now as child, traumatically painful experiences. He represses the memory of the events in order to live through childhood. This sets up certain associations or patterns and related belief pattern/complexes.
          Later, he attracts mates that co-create with him (now as adult) experiences that are sufficiently similar or otherwise evocative of the same feelings as experienced in childhood. This initiates the various phases of processing. He now begins to unravel his (the soul's) part in the creation of this learning experience, and in the process, learns about compassion for those who suffer. As stated, this is overly simplistic, but gets the point across, I trust.

The inner-child represents the feeling or emotional body of our being. It is here that we may store emotions that are associated with traumatic events and/or long-term conditioning that would have us deny some part of our divine inheritance. That denial represents a victimization in that, while our mental/spiritual body may have designed such victimizing circumstances for learning a specific needed lesson (more on that later), our emotional body's inner-child has been and still is feeling the pain which is very real to it. And since the inner-child is a real aspect of ourselves as long as we exist on the earth plane, so is the pain also real - as a felt indicator of need for change. Therefore, so are the feelings of victimization. The concept of "motivation and the role of the emotional body" enters in strongly here.

**** NOTES ON MOTIVATION (A PRIMARY PURPOSE FOR THE EMOTIONAL BODY?) ****

Motivation - it’s only purpose is to get the job done. It only needs to do that - pain is Not a necessity UNLESS that’s the only way to get done just what has to be done. There are many ways to motivate. This implies that children, prisoners, nations, etc. do not need necessarily to experience pain in order to conform to appropriate standards. First try love, challenge, compassion, etc. and appeal to their higher nature. Then try mediation, compromise, or reward. Then try guilt or manipulation, etc. if absolutely necessary -- if nothing else works, in other words (when the objective is critical - otherwise the losses and karma would be greater for All concerned).

We need new motivators, based on love and acceptance. The back and forth karmic cycle of abuser and abused is supposed to wake us up to need for new behavior and ways to transition us to it. It is not supposed to provide another justification for added insult and injury, more punishment and reward syndrome reinforcement, all of which maintains the attitudes that produce the abuse cycle in the 1st place. The cycle has to stop somewhere - revenge does not cure addiction! Revenge has become much of the motivation behind the systems we have created to provide justice - via reward and punishment. So what other ways can we develope to transition us from where are now to where we want to be? It will happen - and likely take a few hundred years, but it has to be approached like there is faith in this or it won't happen. It has begun, so what's the next step? What's the end product - what does that feel like, what would look like? God is not going to rob us of our learning process by "saving" us. S/he wants to be able to give US the credit, so we'll feel good about being with Him/Her. 1-17-94

Hence, one can't beat, separate, or condemn someone (or some part of someone) into healing or even changing. Under those conditions more feelings of rebellion and resistance to change are created. At best we create a fear-motivated and pain-motivated person, society, or country that trains its offspring, its body, to be likewise motivated. All of which ends up cycling back to what you originally fought and denied and then acted as if there was no reason for. Acting as if there IS reason for a condition puts us in charge - gets us to the root of the need that the destructive behavior was created to fulfill. Then Healing can BEGIN. It seems to me that God didn't say - "Be a nice and willing victim for awhile and then I'll reward you," - but more likely something like, "Learn how to be all you can be -- YOU have to discover your options, make decisions, and take risks -- and I'll help you when you listen."

More on the Emotional Body and Motivation at: "Emotion & Motivation on the Path and in Healing"

Re: Poorness, Guilt, Cruelty, and "...something to cry about"

If one feels one has unecessary advantage (Health, Wealth, Connections, etc.) -- whether it is true or because one has been "trained" to believe it -- and feels guilty for it while others have so much lack and pain; Then one way to keep from feeling the pain (of others) is to make others (who are less advantaged) wrong for being so disadvantaged and miserable, and make self right for having advantage and no *apparent* pain. The fundamentalists justify this by saying "God is punishing them; rewarding me"; the (fundamentalist) "New Agers": "my good thoughts and/or Karma is returning to me and their wrong thoughts and bad Karma is returning to them;" favorites we love to hate: "you are just trying to manipulate me into giving you what you can't earn yourself, worse you are trying to make me feel and that is really going to piss me off and get you hurt, since all I feel is anger, and besides, that doesn't solve any problems, so just stop whinning and go get [a job, or a wife, a psychiatrist, a rifle, etc]."

In any case, one would (unjustly) feel more justified therefore in not extending compassion through feeling others' pain and sending prayers and/or acknowledging their true worthiness to have good in their lives. OR worse, because they feel they need to defend their advantaged position -- less they lose it -- they accuse the disadvantaged and miserable of earning their misery. Their response is very similar to the bitter father's injunction -- "If you continue to cry, I'll give you something to cry about." It comes across as punishment for feeling pain, not to mention invalidation of feelings, and strongly encourages the miserable to deny their misery, lest they be made even more miserable. And that's a popular form of insulation among those who are advantaged by position and influence to be able to do something about other's pain, but refuse to even acknowledge it. Why ? They simply aren't strong enough to feel their own pain yet.

From another angle: *If* one's previous attempts (in infancy/childhood or even later) to express the grief and sadness was answered with something like that ("don't hurt/cry"), and if what one percieves via one's feeling body is only allowed to be interpreted (by/to one's mind) only in terms of pity and manipulation (when not doing satiation/exilleration or some addictive behavior [eg: workaholism, sexaholism,] or substance), *THEN* it's likely that any invitation to feel other feelings/emotions can feel very threatening -- which state usually brings on the only other recourse -- anger (if not depression or an illness of some kind to avoid the anger)-- in order to avoid expressing the grief and sadness of actual loss that was never allowed to be safely dealt with. Obviously, in order to heal that pain, one would have to acknowledge it and feel it vrs pretend it's not there / never happened. And in terms of getting this through to someone else, it probably won't happen to the degree that this someone is in a reactionary mode based on alot of old pain around being manipulated (eg: being "made to feel"). A related essay: "WHY PAIN? Notes on Pain, Awareness & Denial" (Physical and other levels) -- Aspects in Developing a Practical Approach with Compassion)

More on "the role of victim":

One IS a victim so long as one associates consciously or unconsciously with the pain of victimization -- which includes any form of making one feel one is less than one is. One will do just that, and play the victim role to one degree or another until the pain and the experience that created it is dealt with. What one denies, one empowers. As the idea of responsibility takes hold, the feelings of victimization begin to be addressed via belief pattern work and emotional clearing, forgiveness, etc. While experience for learning may include taking on such a role, I emphatically believe there is no appropriate justification or beneficial reason to CONSCIOUSLY create or condone a victimizing experience for oneself or others.

"Revictimization" (the re-experience of guilt/helplessness for past events), occurs when a victim is convinced that s/he is TO BLAME for her/his painful experiences, thereby re-experiencing the judgment that created the blocked memory and emotions in the first place. So, primary to the whole clearing process is dealing with the judgement and its origins. Once the "victim" builds enough self-esteem, they become strong enough to deal with the issue of responsibility for their creations. Then they will do the necessary therapy on the issue(s) at hand and will ventually come to drop the victim associations and role. This role has once childhood protected him/her from the intense shame associated with the event. In this case, it may feel better to feel like a victim -where others are percieved as responsible - than to be/FEEL personally at fault for the wrong-doing (in shame). The shame feeling is only a result of buying into the judgement (as percieved, consciously or unconsciously, coming from those who know) that begat the shame in the first place.

Forgiveness can occur when the needs for feeling valid are felt to be fulfilled, even though, in many instances the associated material or tangible losses are known to be irrecoverable (for whatever reason). The above "transition" process is usually a difficult one, however, depending on how long and strongly one has depended unconsciously on the victim role (to get the "payoff"). If this last concept of "the payoff" seems apathetic or cruel to you, you will find solace and illumination in the published works of such authors as John Bradley and Staphanie Covington and in related programs: ACA (Adult Children Anonymous), and CODA (Co-Dependents Anonymous).

According to one perspective, ideal health of the emotional-body" can be defined (if not actually attained except by "masters," through perhaps many persistant lifetimes) as, "A state of corporeal embodiment of Being wherein the emotional body is fluid -- totally so, such that no attachments to emotions or emotional states, or to the lack of same, exist, and such that there are no judgments that restrict the flow or awareness to same; the present is experienced/felt as present (totally new) experience; feeling states and associated images of the past do not block or functionally impair perception of any relevant current data; sufficient detachment from emotions to eliminate emotional reaction while increasing feeling-response-ability and choice, and simultaneous disidentification with any emotional aspect and still retaining capacity for total empathy as consciously directed."

A note of loving caution: as long as we make ourselves wrong for being less "realized" than what we are, our ego will grasp to identify with "higher" states. This can serve to motivate but also creates blindness to the "Present Moment" wherein self-realization occurs. It does this by using the mind to fool ourselves into believing our dreams are here-and-now realities, while it denies that it still holds on to old patterns. The liberating implication therefore, is that there is no healthy reason to judge oneself, let alone punish oneself, for being where one is in the process.

7-30-96

To TOP  of PAGE Author / Artist / Editor Information Body-Mind Integration and Fascia Memory Research Christopher Pringer Reiki Master, Ordained Minister Chalice Bridging Ministries Body-Mind-Soul Integration for a Healthy Planet Bridging Theology, Consciousness, and Practical Emotional Intelligence Organization Chart        Body Mind Integrative Awareness (Brochure) Individualized Approach and Training for High Performance, Awareness, and Integral Being Body-Mind Integration and Chalice Productions (Home Pages) Writing, Artwork, Resources Fascia Memory Research Project Mind-Body Memory and the Future of Preventative Medicine 4C-Publishing Chalice Creations and Concept Charting (Desktop Publishing) for Vibrant Greeting Cards, Logos, Mandala & Prayer Cards, Display Ads, Promotional Presentations, Charts & Web Books "Synthesis" Mandala Shirts By Appointment Only 206-286-0899 / chaliser@iinet.com Guest Book & Web Site Support System Page for Chalice/Grail Artwork and 4C-Publishing   COPYRIGHT REGULATIONS/POLICY & DISCLAIMER:           REPRODUCTION: I welcome my writing/artwork being reproduced, provided that it is in it's original and complete form (or an editing or excerpt by agreement with the author), and contact info are intact and readable ("Chris Pringer, Chris.pringer@chalicebridge.com, www.chalicebridge.com"), and so long as the following conditions are applied:      a) Hardcopy reproduction is ok so long as it is for personal or non-profit organizational use only; b) Distribution and posting on web pages, blogs, and forums with my permission (mostly because I want to know where it's been put, and I'd be most honored to be asked). c) Any distribution of my writings or artwork must be w/o charge unless with prior agreement in writing with the author. d) The only exception to that regards the World Healing Prayers, which I encourage people to make all the copies they think will be used effectively without obligation to get my permission or even contact me. By the way, I have yet to ever sell -or give permission for anyone else to sell- any of my artwork on E-Bay or anywhere else. [noted 12/27/07]           DISCLAIMER: None of my writing, chalice art, or PolyPsyArt is intended to be, to replace, or discourage the appropriate use of, medical attention and/or treatment, but as educationally informative for the purpose of overall health enhancement and preventative maintenance.     So far as I know, I have not quoted any other person without saying so. I have emulated a number of writers and teachers, so I wouldn't be surprised if many of my statements have very similar words and meanings as they. In any case, I have always tried to say what I believed. If you find that I have plagiarized anyone to any degree, please let me know -- by noting the complete published reference, and including the full quote and a few sentences of text before and after). This given, I will duly correct the writing.           AUTHORSHIP: Unless otherwise noted under the titles, all essays, artwork, prayers, pages at this site and sub-directories (as at my previous site at AOL), and with exception of some of the solid color and cloudy-sky color backgrounds and logo/headers for others' sites as noted) has been composed, rendered, and/or web-authored (c) by myself, Christopher Pringer, a member of Veteran's for Peace, ch.92 and of the "Seattle 12," practitioner in Body-Mind-Energy Integration Therapies since 1984, since 1984, and ordained minister (Chalice-Bridging Ministries) since 1987. Most of the personal health-oriented essays at this site were written in the early 90's, as compared to the social/political health oriented pages since 1997.             ABOUT THE ART: The symbols for the "Chalice" - or Holy Grail - that I often use are drawn essentially from ancient archetypes. Here, the Chalice is essentially a "cauldron" for the balancing and integrating of Humanity with the Divine - individually and communally. And just to forestall any hasty categorization, I should say that these archetypes pre-date the Jewish faith by many centuries. They have their own rich meanings as related to the spiritual dilemma or paradox, balancing or synthesis of qualities (such as Yin & Yang), and healing transformation. The "Chalice-Star" over the three traveling magi is used in my Solstice or Christmas Card design to represent our quest - in this earthly dimension of body, mind, and spirit - for the inner-most Source of one's spirit and faith -- whether that would be the Inner Christ, Inner Buddha, Inner Mohammed, or the Divine Mother's Spirit connecting All Life, etc.               That disclaimer said, you may find out the actual origens of my relationship with these archetypes at Home Page for Body-Mind-Chalice Integration (and related artwork). (see description in above section.) If you feel well served by what you found here, I would certainly appreciate your support. Although there is virtually 3 large books (and probably over a thousand hours) worth of written material and artwork here, nothing has ever been sold at this site (although I do promote my therapy practice and desktop publishing skills). In any case, IF YOU FEEL SO INCLINED TO SUPPORT THIS WORK (there are also ways besides donating money), please check out the Chalice Bridging Ministries / PolyPsyArts Support System.             COMMENTARY/Feedback is MOST APPRECIATED via the Guest Book or directly via Chaliser@iinet.com. I Hope you have found this page useful. Please let me know if it (or any parts of it, or other pages here) do not make sense to you, or don't seem consistent, etc. Extra points given for being specific. <grin> It's nice to hear from visitors in any case. I will probably reply. Here is to your continuing to recieve the benefits of your drive to discover you. --Chris     Click here to see the Organization Chart and "How and Why this Site Is Different" A study in Cross-Discipline Knowledge Sharing, Utilization, and a much needed integration of diverse talent. And how that relates to *Chalice-Bridging* and to healing. (And the full-size graphic!)   Professional Bio & Quotes Chris, 1984 Chris, 2008               I began my studies in multi-level self-healing when in the service, in Thailand in the Winter of '73. The focus then was on self-help psychology, consciousness, and eastern and western mystical perspectives. This continued through my university studies in Norman, OK '74-'79. 1980 took me into naturopathic studies, primarily nutrition and herbology when I lived in Oklahoma City. Not seeing the naturopathic doctor route as affordable at the time, I found direction via a five-evening massage course, Fall '83. That led to a six month professional practice, followed up with the training in Sante Fe, NM, '84-'85 (described in the next paragraph).         Since then I have practiced massage and/or healing facilitation for others, initially in Santa Fe, NM (during/after my training), then San Louis Obispo, CA, and Seattle, WA. This includes exploring personal challenges and self-healing methodology. A session may include various energy work modalities, Body/Energy-Awareness based Preventative Health Maintenance Instruction, or only Reiki or relaxation work in total silence. A client chooses based on whatever stress, pain, or concerns are present at that session. A client may request a "Body Pattern Reading," as well as various massage/bodywork therapies, all of which techniques are listed & described in my brochure. Individual, program, and 3-6 week interval-based rates are available.         My interests have primarily centered in three areas:         1) Body-Centered Psycho-Spiritual Process (as in "Hakomi" style of) counseling and bodywork, including as assessing an individual for the most efficient means of addressing connective tissue injury, short and long term, and the most efficient application of the results of that assessment (on physical and/or emotional levels);         2) in The Basic How's And Why's Of Psycho-Emotional Storage In The Body-Mind, and in the related fascia memory storage dynamics - referring to the technical aspects of neuro-physical interface between connective tissue, emotion, and the brain);         3) "Chalice-Bridging" style chakra balancing - based in the perspective that the chalice, far more than just a cup in this interpretation, is about the human embodiment of Spirit into the three "lower bodies" (mental, emotional, and physical) which compose the "Body-Mind". Which is also a "cauldron" for the balancing and integrating of Humanity with the Divine - individually and communally.         My training includes over 1370 hours of classes and practicum, including with the New Mexico Academy of Massage and Advanced Healing Arts in Santa Fe, NM (1984-85), and with various accredited bodywork and therapy workshops (`86-present), as well as 100 hours training with the Alchemical Hypnotherapy Institute (1989), over 100+ hrs apprenticeship with healing practitioner Robert "Mitra" (`85-`86), and 150 hours apprenticeship with Silena Heron in Herbal Studies (`83-`84). For the detailed version my training, you may go to the latter half of my Reiki Therapy Practice Brochure. Which also includes (and relates context for) links to essays elaborating on aspects of imbalance and injury, assessment, and healing. Personal Quotes on Body-Mind Awareness [ cp, 12'07 ] BODY-MIND AWARENESS, at the core of preventive health awareness, is one of the most simple, efficacious, & cost-effective forms of HEALTH INSURANCE there can be. Hence, massage is far from just "a luxury item," and bodywork therapies can be indispensable for the healing of certain conditions. MUSCLES RELATE TO ATTACHMENTS - to what we use to take our stance, to hold our place, to perceive and respond to our environment, and to extend who we are and/or want to be. Or used to be (in too many cases, perhaps). That speaks not only to the body's condition and function, but to how it communicates awareness of where one is along one's path (of becoming who one truly is). THE BODY IS . . . among other amazing things, a unique communications system -- intimately linked with one's TOTALITY. Establishing rapport with one's body can be a PATH to self realization. ONE OF MY DREAMS is a society where/in all children are taught how to feel/see/read their own body-mind communications such that preventive health maintenance eventually becomes second nature. And actually, for the most part, they would be encouraged to re-awaken and build upon what I believe to be a NATURAL INCLINATION - conscious self-healing and continuous expansion of awareness. And the above goes FOR ALL OTHER ALTERNATIVE THERAPIES, to the degree that one utilizes them to improve such awareness and causative/pro-active connection with one's body-mind, and to employ the most effective tools for maintaining/improving one's health under any given condition or circumstance. WHY DOES BODY AWARENESS = OPTIMUM HEALTH INSURANCE ? To TOP  of PAGE Since being at it's own domain (Chalicebridge.com, June'06) this site has come to average Over 60 *Visits*, Over 112 *Pages*,   and over 1000 *Hits* Per DAY. (Here, the 'Hits' stat includes all graphics on a page.) Interesting that at AOL (Sep'97 to May'06), "LE FastCounter" listed an average of 75 *hits* per day during 2005.   -- cp, 12'07 (c) 1997 to Present, Chris Pringer