"Positive Thinking" Explained by Rev. June C. Miller Published in The New Times, February 1987 [ In this article Rev. June Miller concisely points out the correct and incorrect uses of affirmations and related therapies - it is important to note the differences -- Chris Pringer, (Chaliser@aol.com) Dear Editor, In the January issue of The New Times a question was asked about the dangers and misuses of affirmations. I believe that is such an important issue that I would like to respond to that here. One of the major teachings within the New Thought movement is that concerning cause and effect. Very simply the teaching is this: a person's inner makeup (thoughts, feelings, beliefs, expectations, subconscious patterns, intentions, etc.) will be reflected in his or her experience (health, relationships, success, finances, etc.). In other words, what we are on the inside tends to be reflected in our lives, in our outer circumstances, relationships, health. Many of us have known this and worked with it for years. Many of us have learned that we are not simply victims of our inheritance of environment or bad luck and have learned that we have the power to affect our own lives. And many of us are doing what we can to change inside. But sometimes we have confusions about the ways to go about internal change - the process of growth. New Thoughts stresses the importance of thought in the creative process. It is taught that what a person thinks becomes his experience. The teaching also stresses the importance of aligning a person's thought with the absolute truth of who we are. Affirmations of these underlying truths and releases of the distortions of the truth are two of the tools used in New Thought to assist us in the process of realizing these underlying truths. The problem for most of us has to do with finding methods of working with ourselves that will literally change our old distortions. Many people have felt a sense of helplessness about changing their old patterns of thinking and feeling and behaving. And in our desperation to find solutions we sometimes grasp onto something that looks simple, straightforward and workable. But in the process some of us have developed some assumptions and simplifications that don't really work for us. Some of our assumptions actually prevent the distortions from being cleared up. There seems to be an assumption by a number of people that this is the whole truth - that their lives are changed only by conscious thinking. It is often further assumed that negative aspects of the subconscious are changed by feeding the mind the thoughts that are wanted. The assumption that has evolved and is being practiced by many people is something like this: if you consciously keep words, phrases and emotions in your awareness that are positive and you don't allow into your awareness words, phrases and emotions that are negative, your life will change according to the positive thoughts you held in your conscious thought. It becomes a process of repressing all the thoughts and feelings that are considered negative. But this is the way it really works. Suppose you set a goal for yourself. This goal might have to do with relating to other people. Perhaps you want to relate to others in a more authentic way, or perhaps you want some close friends. You may have made your decision, chosen your goal, and had the deep intent to change your life in this area. You may then come up with an affirmation that fits the goal and begin to say it. The next thing that happens is that everything in you that is opposed to that change in your life will begin to come to your awareness. Everything in you that has kept you from attaining that goal in the past will begin to surface - all the ways you sabotage yourself. These are the subconscious beliefs and fears that have helped create your unique world up to this point. They don't go away because you put an affirmation on top of them or because you won't let them into your conscious thinking. Instead of repressing those parts of us that are sabotaging us we need to work with them. We need to do something about the patterns of believing that are underneath the emotions and thoughts. For instance, fear does not go away because we say we release it. It goes away when we see why we're afraid, see the belief that was set up, accept and love ourselves unconditionally while the fear is still playing, and go through the fear until we see the truth underneath it. And then we must begin the risky process of living in a new way. If anger or fear or hostility come up, these are indications of the parts of us that are saying, "no," to the goal we've set. If we don't really hear what this is about - the underlying patterns aned unconscious beliefs - we cannot make the goal our own or the goal will be won at the expense of our deeper needs. If a person takes on a way of working on himself that says he must think and feel the good and he must not think or feel anything else that comes up, then a number of things will happen to him. One of the first things he does is repress the very messages he needs for his growth. He avoids all the pain that comes to him, either saying it is not true or just negative thought. And he'll also begin to use affirmations incorrectly - using them to repress everything he doesn't want. And instead of using his will to make choices for himself, he'll be using it to deny everything that's really going on in him. He'll repress his own authenticity and his own sense of who he really is. Have you even met someone who was just seething inside and had a broad smile pasted on that, "I'm fine. Everything is wonderful." This person, in the extreme, covers up so much inside that he cannot be in touch with his own soul choice for growth. Painful or negative circumstances begin to be seen as evidence that he didn't think the good thoughts enough so he begins to feel guilty and redoubles his efforts. He never does see the pain as a gift, a mirror, a message. One example of this is the case of a woman who went to her minister for counseling. She was in a marriage in which she was both physically and mentally abused. When asked why she didn't leave him she said, "I have to work this through. If my consciousness was good enough, I wouldn't be having these problems. I must have drawn it to myself by my consciousness. If I can raise my consciousness, it will be OK." So she did her affirmations, and every time she had a "negative" thought she denied it. She repressed her deeper thoughts that told her how her early childhood family patterns of relating were being replayed. And because she didn't go through these realizations, she also repressed her anger and hurt. She denied her very ability to stand up for herself. She felt guilty because she couldn't keep forgiving him. She felt guilty that she was angry. She thought she was supposed to see the Divine in him and also thought she was supposed to think it was all her fault because she had brought it on herself with her negative thinking. When she finally began to listen to her feelings she began to restructure her life, beginning by removing herself from the circumstances where she was being hurt. As long as she was denying her pain, denying her anger, she was unable to see what it was she needed to do. When we do not allow ourselves to be aware of our actual inner experience it cannot change. And that experience needs to be validated and accepted. Nothing can be transformed until it is accepted. We teach that the inner world is the cause of our experience. But the process of repressing the subconscious material is self-defeating. Only when the patterns that are causing the pain are seen and changed can the pain disappear. Affirmations and positive thoughts are tools to be used to help us with our growth. They are not, of themselves, the growth. They are not magic. They don't cause the change in our lives. They don't make something happen in the outer world. They do have a function. There are two things that they do wonderfully well. They can make us aware of the possibilities of the potential we have and help us remember that potential as we do the work. They can also bring to our awareness things that are in the way of this potential being realized so we can actually do something about it. An affirmation can be rather like a vision, a picture of our goal. If that affirmation matches a deep desire, it can begin to draw us to it like a magnet. It can lead us to do the inner work we need to do to make it a reality. The only way to get to our goal is to be where we are, to see where we are, to see what we're doing in ourselves right now, to acknowledge the pain long enough to get its message. Nothing is transformed until it is accepted, and this cannot be a superficial acceptance. Our life is created by our thought but so much more. It is created by our deep intention, desire, motivation, will soul choice, expectation, subconscious beliefs, the conditions that we place on our worth, the collective beliefs and more. We cannot get simplistic about it and have it work for us. We want to grow, but we cannot do it when we avoid where we are. When we can finally behold ourselves in love - not loving what we will be like or what we ought to be like, but with deep compassion for who we are now - then we can be healed. We can't love what will be until we love what is. The only way to move forward is to really live in the present moment, whatever it may be, attending to whatever needs attention. The only way to behold the Christ or Buddha in another person is to first accept him as he is. The only way to experience eternity is in this very moment. Love and Blessings, Rev. June C. Miller June C. Miller is [1987] the interim minister at the Unity Church in Mountlake Terrace, Washington. She received her M.A. in Psychology from Antioch University and is certified in Psychosynthesis.