Long ago, the lords of culture determined that if everyone expressed everything they felt, the world would be a din of noise. They thought that the noise of celebration might be tolerated (depending on whose it was in some cases). But the noise of those that were judged less worthy of love and respect - and thereby less worthy of having their basic needs met - those were considered noises of pain and suffering. And only so much of that was going to be tolerated by these lords of judgement. The problem, to them, became more about the noise, and less about the basic needs being met.
          Because to them, someone always needed to be on top while someone else needed to be on bottom. The lords figured that the ones on bottom were going to be in pain, and therefore wanting to make noise about it. Wherever they ruled and made decisions to solve "the problem", from that point on, emotional expression was thus no longer allowed to be genuine. Ways of communicating, especially of pain, had to be instilled - at least among those who were having less of their basic needs met. Met, that is, in limited ways compared to those lords -who compared people by what they owned- and made themselves the judges of others' worthiness. Thereby, they also made themselves the judges of distribution - of resources and wealth, punishment and poverty.

          Communication of pain eventually became judged as "manipulation" for the purpose of getting something desired (and not necessarily "needed"). Soon enough, standards of "toughness" and "courage" became based on how one communicated pain - or rather how one did not. Only among family and intimates could this code be broken, though not in every family or relationship. Parents had begun to admonish their children, "Cry and I'll give you something to cry about." However, within any one given culture, non-intimates could often enough (?) gauge one another's current feelings by what we called "gut feeling," without words or overt gesture.
          But what about those feelings that had come to be increasingly stuffed away, suppressed, sub-conscious?
          As we know, what is supressed and held sub-conscious has its ways of getting out in some form or another - often in very unwanted ways. As it happened, Diseases came about - due to the suppression of emotion, particularly the communication of pain, and the stresses around that. Adding insult to injury, eventually guilt was actually felt just for feeling pain, and even for the desire to express that pain.

          After a time it was noticed here and there, that many diseases could be cured by the rare ones who simply listened more deeply to others. Those people who somehow retained those capabilities became known as shamen, medicine women, or "empathics" - as "healers". It was rare enough when one actually survived to adulthood with such skills intact, let alone to become known and trusted to use such skills for the good of others. Not to mention do so with a sufficient amount of respect from others to not be condemned for witchcraft, and sometimes even executed, by those who acted as lords of culture in their communities. [ed. 3/21, 2011]
          But rarely could they tell people HOW they did what they did. That just wasn't understood. Including how to hear the broken inner-communications and reflect them back as integral, confusion-cleared, meaningful and re-assembled. Which often led to dissolving the guilt for the feelings that were totally natural under the circumstances that led to them, to resolving the confusion, to recovering and re-organizing their memories, and to setting things aright. And the people could then be whole again, so to recover their lives. But rarely could anyone really understand how the healers did what they did - except for those whose healing was thorough. So it was a curious mystery to most people. Because, by this time, the mind and body had become split.
          Because those things that one could not safely talk about (without being/feeling judged) eventually could not be safely felt, then could not be acknowledged as real, and so could not be considered. If it could not be trusted, so neither could the body - physical or emotional - from which they originated. And so, without the rare ones tending, disconnection, disfunction, and disease became more a part of life. And generally, people became less communicative, more armored, more unknown to each other, and more forgetful of the causes of things. Routines -and denial of the ways out of them- became more normal. Only the healers and mystics (conscious of consciousness) kept track of the changes and trends that marked and corregated the path of the psyche, and charted the cycles and patterns that signaled likely changes to come. They realized the internal world as cause, the external as effect.
          And so to avoid confusing minds of those who could no longer hear -so to know where and how to look- these healing listeners usually carried things with them so they could attribute the healings, at least primarily, at least in public, to talismans, herbs, ceremony, "magic cures," etc. [True origins of the "Placebo Effect"?] Soon enough, however, such tending to others eventually came to be considered meddling by the lords - the work of evil, and sometimes even a threat to their power. The teaching of inner realities became dangerous, its knowledge and sources hidden, its communication guarded and put in code.

          Down through the generations the nature of such disconnected expression by societies effected the nature of what was culturally allowed to be felt, free of judgement or of violent response. Diseases spread in number and complexity as the stress of suppression of complete and genuine communication had become endemic. Because feeling and expression are, by human nature, intimately tied. And to disturb that tie, just as within the individual psyche, is to disturb and create splits within the cultural psyche.
          Further down through the generations the nature of communication among any one given culture became very complex due to these strained bonds between emotion and communication. Between any two different cultures, the strain in communication became sometimes impossible, and the problem of getting basic needs met began to be projected by one culture of people upon another. The split within the psyche had already manifested the splits within and among families of a culture, and so now there became splits among different cultures.

          Because, as the judgments within any one culture stacked up, those about other cultures did also. Relations between cultures became more strained. Communication of pain between them had by now become a rarity, being viewed with extreme suspicion; it warned of covert acts - maybe already done(!). Or of plans for deceit, thievery, or worse. It became easy for the lords of judgment within a culture to unite their own people, simply by projecting their most feared demons upon another culture, blamed as the causes of pain and poverty.
          To quiet the complaints of his own citizens, all a dictator needed to do was remind them that "to complain, is to whine, is to show disrespect, is to signal impotence - not only within the culture but to "those people over there," and that is a threat - not only to the family but to the nation!" Basic needs began to be met through battles and wars, instead of trade or sharing. Such means of re-distribution - of resources and wealth as well as punishment and poverty - began to be thus threatened or administered across cultures. These were often called "Holy Wars" - although the shamans said that holy wars were those fought inside each conscious person with the sword of truth. (ref: "Systems of Structure & Effects on Learning" or "Spiritual Battles & Wars" - that are best if maintained INternally). [ed. 8/30/10]
          All this happened thousands of years ago, of course, with some exceptions among a very few indiginous cultures, considered "uncivilized".

... ... ? Evolution ? ... ... of character and creativity, purpose and structure, health and healing, social and cultural healing, and more? [YES, there are links nearby to more positive, uplifting, and pro-active writings about the evolution of mankind (and no references to Creationism). But meanwhile, to finish or evolve the current thought] ...

          At some point in the evolution of man, if we are to evolve, whether on this planet or another, this age or another... When everyone's basic needs are met [per "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs"]... there would be less need *felt* - consciously or unconsciously - for expression of extreme pain. The levels of pain, one culture and sub-culture to another, would be more similar. The chasms of difference in perceived self-worth, as well as the difference in judgment felt from "the Lords of Culture", will be greatly lessened. The pressure felt to withhold genuine feelings would drop considerably, and the armor between people and cultures would begin shedding.
          At that point [which I'll call "Paradigm 3"?] the bar begins to be raised on the nature of communications - on it's quality, clarity, and meaningfulness. The devolution process described above begins to reverse. Eventually the expression of pain among the general populace (besides in the therapy room or between intimates) becomes a meaningful part as it takes it's natural place along with all the other meaningful parts of emotional communication (including joy, exuberance, halarity, exasperation, wonderment, etc). EG: The expression of pain would not be at the center of communication, let alone put at the center by either the one expressing it or perceived as such by the one hearing it. Therefore, far less often would it be "felt" as needing to take a leading role in one's expression (consciously or unconsciously), then suppressed, re-suppressed, or otherwise hidden, thus multiplying the stress of past or ongoing painful events. [ed. 8/9, 9/7, 2010]
          Emotional honesty would be naturally considered whenever we use the words "honest" or "integrity". Instead of being considered as noise to be ignored or muffled by judgement or punishment, or the sign post indicator of less potent [sic] sub-cultures. Standards of "courage" would be based more on completeness and depth of communication as well as action, including vulnerability as well as passion. Winning and losing might determine prizes, but never worthiness for that kind of love which -then- would also be deemed as the mark of a true person.
          Emotions and communications would be understood, diseases would be rare, since most have been due to stress, due to violence or abandonment, or fear of same. All of which has been born out of disconnected *incomplete communications* - and thereby due to someone's being made, or allowed to feel, less worthy of love and respect. ("But what about..." Well, consider that some things likely originated much farther back than you heard about them.) Competition then becomes about creativity and solving the problems related to inequality and injustice. Sports become truly about what we like to proclaim they are about. Distribution of resources and wealth then comes without distribution of punishment and poverty.

          Emotional intelligence - often referred to as "EQ" in complementary reference to "IQ" - can expand other capacities related to "IQ". After therapy or other means of healing, of re-integration of our "stuff", as gestaltists and body-centered therapists might say... Then, as we exercise, develop, expand, and feed those cells related to the completed, reintegrated areas of the brain , those areas previously shut off from the others by their association with those previously suppressed memories and feelings, then the cells there begin waking up and contributing to the brain's productivity, via recovery or replacement of channels of access. Cells in neighboring areas of the brain are effected by the added micro-currents by resonation, and so their contributions are enhanced as well. One's intelligence grows like a garden - to the degree it is allowed/ encouraged to receive nourishment. Enhancement of emotional intelligence thus contributes to intellect and even to analytical capacity. [ed.8/9/10]
          Another way to look at it: Metaphorically speaking: if certain compartments of your toolkit (whether for whole tools, or just for some of their attachments), had snakes springing out and biting you whenever you opened them, then you probably became less motivated to open the tool kit over time. That's how emotional baggage effects how much or even whether you use certain/various capacities in your brain. Denial is a mechanism for coping with pain, including emotional pain, of course. Metaphorically countering, you should be happy to know that there are means to go into the toolkit, tame the snakes, and thus recover those avoided compartments. Same goes for any areas of data storage that have been avoided. EG: The brain is like a tool kit, as well as a memory access device and memory storage device. With your Heart/Mind in charge of the tool kit, that is, at least from the metaphysical perspective. In any case, maybe our tool kits are far more alike than we believe - maybe it's the details of accessing the tools that differ the most from individual to individual. [ed. 8/9, 9/3, 2010]

Summary Note & Clarification: Emotional Intelligence does not necessarily imply Emotional Integration: To apply that distinction in a short summary of the above: The self-management of pain, buttons, issues and related communications, IS one way of describing EQ. However, A good actor can portray perfect EQ, and we can call that "practice", and that -all by itself- might work well in the workplace in the judgement of many. In the long run though, for those with submerged highly charged challenges, that will work only as good as window dressing and may even better disguise a walking time bomb. Whereas emotional integration towards conscious -and LONG-TERM constructive self-management of emotional material- pertains not to the behavioral practice of EQ (such as taught in EQ seminars for businesses), but to actual therapeutic emotional healing and the expressed results of that via therapy, self-applied personal growth work, meditation, etc. Such bottom-up integral development of EQ can thereby expand other capacities related to "IQ", and thereby increase IQ. Perhaps far more important than the relationhip to IQ are the results of reducing stress on internal organs as well as tension in connective tissue & muscles: internal equilibrium, less tendency to disease and injury, more energy and focus for life enhancement, optimal productivity, and long-term health - the heart of preventative health maintenance. [add. 9/4/10]

          And, you may ask, "how to handle 'people who would just go on and on and on and...' "? For one, that is relative. Some folks practically demand well-summarized sound bytes (except from those they consider their own superiors or who pay them, of course). And more than a person type, that is actually about an attitude that is becoming prevalent in dense populations. Secondly, an adequate therapist recognizes when a client uses repetition, elaboration, or performance to avoid the real causes of pain. And guides from there. And "Co-Counseling" or "Re-Evaluation Counseling" teaches the rest of us how to listen effectively, which can often be the beginning of healing.
          And yes, there are highly influencial cultures or sub-cultures that consider most emotional expression (other than anger) as unbecoming of a true man. Well, my response to that perspective is, who needs EQ (emotional intelligence) only in women and gays (to the degree that actually or effectively applies), considering that's been going on for as long as it has with the results being our current state of the world? EG: That world wherein, -due to the influence of "Lords of Culture" in the ways noted above- only in the last 60 years are significant numbers of people beginning to feel appalled or guilty about utilizing wars ("holy" or otherwise) and colonization for acquiring resources.
          I believe that when enough straight males come to utilize EQ (to a sufficient degree - they don't all need to be [fill in with name of your favorite most sensitive all-dude stud on TV, etc]), things will change [per "Paradigm 3" noted above; "Paradigm 2" was back when the "Body-Mind Split" - noted further above.] Besides, if needed, I can testify that a totally straight male can not only have EQ, but utilize it. More importantly, as those EQ capabilities began to be allowed and accessed more - my creativity and intellectual capacities expanded as well - yes, my IQ went up. (Please feel free to tell me I'm not alone here.) That is why, when I talk about "diversity", I'm referring to that which makes up the balance in many realms of life, including talent, aspiration, purpose, direction, the physical attributes, and even aspects of awareness and consciousness, and the myriad realms that compose each of those and all the rest. [ed. 8/10-14, 2010]
          Note: Beneath anger is loss or the fear of loss. Loss is essentially about sources of true happiness: love, respect, and/or companionship. Although one common neurosis is about 'things' - projecting supressed feelings onto things. Feelings about persons or other perceived sources of happiness that are no longer present - much like with an addiction; or it can be an addiction. Healing takes time, and denial is a means of postponing the healing until one is ready to deal with the pain - with various factors determining how long a time that may take, related to how benign or destructive that may be to the environment and/or ones psyche. [None of that is to provide "an excuse" for anyone for whatever - those are just some cause-effect basics if/as/when needed to begin with. Sources for elaboration or even instruction are linked to nearby.]
          And what of "the Lords of Culture" - here referring, of course, to the intolerant encouragers of apathy and denial? Well, please understand that 'those people' are not only they who exist at distant heights. But also those who, through their own denial of their own pain, have thus been programmed to pass on their beliefs about change - that is, that no change will ever really happen. And in fact, is it not true that each of us has been handed the opportunity to play that role, at one time or another? And how did we handle it?
          And what happens to all "lords" is that they either continue to have the power we give them, or we realize our own power, and go from there. Or it can be put this way: we either buy into that attitude or energy - whomever it pops out of, to whatever degree - or we don't. Related: Investments and the economy are not just about monetary currencies. AND it's not so much about government styles ("isms") - because what works for a local or culture is what works, and call it what you like - maybe "whatworksism", or maybe just "common sense" which necessarily includes a good dose of compassion. Because people work best when they work together and/or individually cooperatively. [Related writings or links nearby.]

          In recognition that new concepts need to be digested one at a time: Have you ever noticed how sometimes your understanding of something changes when you read it a second time? Maybe again the third time or even again after that? Well, there *is* a lot in this essay, obviously. It seemed I had to keep rewriting it - to reintegrate of all the little branches it increasingly encompassed - as if already a part of some web which was unearthed and rendered as went along. And to make sense out of that to the reader, some of it possibly new material to many (or new perspectives on old material), given the range of concepts, especially when each are related to the other concepts as explored here. [ed. 9/20/10]