1. The mind interprets stimulus, and if it perceives it as overwhelming due to previous experience/conditioning that says in effect, "pain is forthcoming,"
      2. the associated emotions are called up to sufficiently motivate/empower the next action; that being
      3. the nervous system shuts down the sensory apparatus so that as much pain as possible/necessary is kept from being felt.
      4. The associated musculature contracts in whatever way is perceived as most protective, until
      5. the mind gives permission to allow the pain/emotion(s) to be felt and dealt with - when there is felt sufficient safety to do so - and the musculature and nervous system of that area now begins to relax, resume normal functioning and to release the tension and the need to hold on. This is where integration of the experience begins.

      It is important to note here that, for most people, most all of this occurs without awareness of it happening. Step five would be the biggest exception to this: We might notice a great sense of relief and feel noticeably more relaxed. It is in this step that bodywork can play such a facilitative, if not critical, role. "Bodywork" refers to therapy that is applied primarily to/on the body, either by a therapist, or by oneself. This includes massage, deep tissue therapy, movement therapy, and yoga, to name a few. In fact, bodywork can enable one to become very conscious of the whole body-mind experience. This occurs as the different levels of our being (mind, emotional body, physical body) learn to communicate spontaneously, and as we "stay in the present moment." It is also important that the bodywork therapist convey a message critical to this process. This message comes through the therapist's presence and hands and says, "I am willing to be here for you, and compassionately accept without judgment every single cellular iota of just exactly who you are, on every level that you are willing to open up to."
   
      When the therapist presses into your skin and muscle, you have the opportunity to engage your sensory system into that area with your conscious awareness. You do this by breathing deeply, slowly, but comfortably as you imagine the energy of your fully inhaled breath going into the area of focus. As you exhale you focus simply on feeling whatever you feel in that area. The idea is to feel it as if for the very first time (and it very well may be) with no expectations or preconceptions of what you might feel or of what might happen next. The more open you can be in this way, without judging or analyzing the various thoughts, feelings, or sensations you may notice, the more present you can be with your body. "Just breathing and noticing," I like to say.

      Into this area that has been protected so well, now enters your presence. Its armor has for years withstood perhaps even the loving energy of friends and practitioners. But now for the first time comes your own permission to let go, not as just wishful thinking, but as the breath of compassion, allowingness, and mindfulness. The fibers begin to expand in this energy of total acceptance, as if to respond, "Maybe it's safe to be here again; maybe I won't be judged or used for feeling as I do." Now feelings may arise to conscious experience and be released, flashes of the past may arise to be seen in balanced perspective, and tensions ooze out to be let go of. Sometimes only the latter one or two may come up/out. The therapist at such times hears a lot of sighs, pleasant "ahhhh's," or quiet sobbing from new realizations of self-acceptance. The muscles soften in response to feelings of relief.

      Often times, especially for those who were well trained to withhold expression of grief or pain or even joy, the feeling releases may occur very gradually over a period of days or even weeks. In any case memory flashes may or may not occur, or they may occur later and not be recognized as related to the bodywork experience. This recognition is not necessary for the healing to complete. What is important is the completion, the personal dynamics of which is unique to each individual's process.

      Another phenomenon that may occur a day or so after deeply affecting bodywork is that of the nervous system beginning to conduct the pain signals that were held back for so long. This is a natural part of the system's re-connecting/re-awakening process. But just as is true on the emotional level, the pain only needs to be experienced once (if at all) as part of the completion. Some people, however, may take a number of sessions of processing over a period of time to "get it all out." It's as if each muscle fiber involved represents one aspect of that whole experience or issue.

      The body's cells respond to our individual thoughts and beliefs ("solidified thoughts" attached to the body-mind by an emotional charge). Each cell carries a memory of the time in the womb, and maybe for a while afterwards, when there was a very high degree of safety, warmth, spontaneity, and intimacy. For cells to remember that, they need the mind's permission to release all subsequent programming that negates that feeling/memory. The emotional component needs permission to be experienced and/or accepted.

      By sending the message of permission into the cells, the momentum for "re-membering" is initiated. Now, the body and mind begin to unconditionally accept one another, especially concerning the particular area in question. Otherwise, what we generally have is the mind's domination of the body if there is only a one-way communication. With domination over the body the usual result is further separation until the body rebels with disease, strained connective tissue (muscle tendons, ligaments, etc.) under stress, or even broken bones due to contractedness and inflexibility during physical trauma. Improved relationship communications as regards the different aspects of oneself truly is preventative medicine. Such "inner-personal communication" promotes inner teamwork, with the inner child playing an essential role.

      Like a child with a chip on his shoulder, a muscle won't be just told to relax and forgive and let go. We have to sit with him, accept our child's emotional state for what it is and allow the feelings without judging him as wrong for having them. If we are genuine and patient our child considers trusting us. Once the child feels sufficiently accepted and loved, s/he lets go of the feelings. That done, s/he's ready and raring to go play, to get on with life, to be spontaneous and intimate again. We should have such enthusiasm in each of our cells. And if we approach our hurt muscles and organs in the same way, I believe we get comparable results.    

      As the muscle fibers become functionally present and as more"response-ability" to life is trusted to that area of the body, daily experience changes. If that area was associated with abandonment, for example, the process of healing would bring more trust that life would "be there for us." That support would be trusted without our feeling obligated, guilty , afraid that it won't last, or angry that it isn't real. This in turn, frees up our capacity to seek/allow nurturing without generally doing things that only end up reinforcing the underlying, emotionally charged belief that support is not to be there.

      With release (step five, the initiation of completing the body-mind experience) underway, we begin steps six and seven: re-evaluation and re-direction. With the holding-pattern given new freedom, there is also the opportunity to let go of the associated limiting belief pattern as in the example above. Re-evaluation allows the perceptual filters that color our experience to open up so that more avenues of response are realized. Re-direction, the choosing of the appropriate new avenues, would be the natural thing to do if it weren't for any tendencies to learn the hard way.

      I know about learning the hard way. So, I may need to be on guard for old habits while very consciously making new choices. Here is where positive thinking and affirmations, imagery, etc., serve an important role as reminders of my capabilities, resources, and goals. My body may also give warnings via the areas of previous release, should I be unconsciously entertaining old ways. Better yet, it feels good when I'm on the right track. I have to listen in order to know.

      I believe that the most effective way to permanently let go old patterns is to find the purpose or "the lesson" that was learned in carrying that pattern, and then to fully appreciate the personal growth born out of that pattern. The pattern was as effective a way, as could be created, to cope with a situation. So even the pattern itself is honored, as a past coping mechanism, even as an old friend. But it is an old friend that we are saying good-bye to, and therefore needs grieving, along with all the addictive/compulsive behavior that met our needs. There are various techniques to formalize/ritualize this process of seeing all of our life as purposeful and meaningful, of grieving, of letting go, etc.

      The re-evaluation and re-direction process can be made more conscious and thereby more powerful by various self-selected/designed personal programs. I recommend a wholistic, gestalt approach that is in line with one's spiritual approach to life and that includes the body therapy that is most appropriate to one's needs. Professional counseling may or may not be necessary for completing the last two steps of the process. This depends on the emotional complexity of the causative event(s) related to the area(s) (of the body) in question. While the body-mind's protection will generally not let go in an unsafe place, deep tissue-affecting therapies should be engaged only by those who are prepared to deal with strong emotional content.

      As far as answering the earlier question, "When is it important to complete experiences?": The simple answer is, "When you're sick and tired of being sick and tired," or smart enough to know better, before that point is reached. It could be when you've tried everything else on the physical level without success. The best time, I believe, is when you're looking for deeper answers to life's challenges. The latter is a result of increased listening to one's whole self. With this kind of awareness, the body doesn't have to go through the attention-getting process that usually creates some kind of sudden disruption in our usual routine. This, and most other aspects covered in this essay, are expanded upon in detail, as well as related to the larger picture of psycho-spiritual progress, in the book, "Working Guidelines to Integration."

      In summary, I'd say that what really matters in the personal growth process is the relationship among the three basic levels of our earthly experience -- the mind, the emotional body, and the physical body. The mind may access the spiritual truths of the utmost importance to all life, but it is only through the body that such truths are made relevant in the world around us. In this sense, we are all channels of light and love. It is only through the emotional body that emotion will flow to motivate us to do so --provided it is sufficiently fee of insecurities (as to basic needs) to do so. Thus the bridge, between idealization (of the highest principles, qualities, healing, inventions, etc) and actualization, relies on effective "inner-personal communications." Cooperation between God and man and between man and man cannot be clearly honest and thereby effective, if man is not honest and cooperating within his own Being. With such self-honesty comes clarity of mind: purpose and meaning concerning our past experience, and how it relates to both the present and to future goals, is much more apparent.
   
      Thus the need for body-mind integration. Two applicable expressions here are "As Above -- So Below," and "The issues are in the tissues." The body serves as a perfect feedback system for what is happening on "higher" levels, and the best health insurance is learning how to listen to our bodies. Body therapies, including massage, are highly facilitative of tuning the body-mind relationship. Then we are better able to flex with life's stresses, instead of reacting out of habit patterns as manifested in the body musculature. As we release and complete age-old experiences that have been stored in such holding patterns, we are better able to maintain momentum that achieves our goals. As we drop the completion-preventing judgments of the past, the present becomes more safe; purpose and meaning are better seen in all of our life, in all of our Being.